And perhaps it makes you stoopid.

My son goes to a spendy private school. We do not pay the bill and couldn't if we had to if you must know the truth. So let's just say there are lots of sorority country club moms there, of whom I am not one. And money breeds weird stuff, weird weird stuff. But those are posts for another day. Today's horror - a family pulling up to the soccer field with their 4 year old boy on the mom's lap in the front seat. God help me, my jaw is still on the floor.

I already had to call my younger son's preschool and report a mom driving down US 1 (are you familiar with US 1? BUSY BUSY ROAD!) with her 3 year old daughter in the front seat with no seatbelt, bouncing around, flying free. I guess I'll be calling A's school tomorrow.

I am so anal. Such a tattletale! We won't even talk about the smoking in the cars. And M wonders why I worry about the field trip car pooling thing. GAH!

I think I am going to coin myself some bumper stickers over at Cafe Press. Something along the lines of "I am staring at you because your child is not properly restrained in a seatbelt you idiot!" perhaps "Protect the innocent, buy a carseat and use it!" or "Don't let your child be an organ donor, buckle them up!" Any suggestions, something really catchy and brief but that will show them the depth of their stupidity?

But really, it' been awhile since I shared pics of my babes.





Seriously, taking the boys to this mini waterpark was the most fun we have had in ages together! So, so fun. Love my guys.

That would be my new title.

So A started soccer at the Y on Tuesday. We had done it in the spring as well but skipped the summer session - um, we live in Florida, too hot for summer soccer, hello! - anyway, so it was good to be back and it looked like it was a good mix of kids on his team.

I set up my blanket, put my bag down and O and I started kicking his little Dora soccer ball around on the sidelines. Soccer is my favorite kid activity because it is so easy to entertain O on the sidelines, unlike some other activities. Plus I think O is a born natural soccer player. His ball handling skills are down right freaky for a 2 1/4 year old. But I digress. So O and I have now moved about 20 yards from our blanket. I look over and see a group of 3 year old boys (other little brothers on the sidelines) converge on my blanket and start going through my bag. Their mothers are RIGHT NEXT TO THEM. They are literally tossing the food out of my bag and grabbing the Rescue Heroes stash that I had in there to entertain O. I am too far away to yell over without making a huge scene - what would I yell - "Um, Hello, your kids are going through my stuff could you maybe pay attention to them? For all you know I am a smoker and have a lighter in there. Or I am a redneck with a GUN in there! Hello, do you see what your kids are doing?!" Then the kids grab the toys and run towards the bleachers which is in my direction so I go to them and say, could you please put those toys back in my bag. THEN the mom notices the stranger daring to say something to her precious kids. And do you know what she says "Oh Little Jimmy, maybe if you asked the lady she would let you play with the toys." So I say, well, I really don't want the toys all over the place, so could you take them back to my blanket. We all head back to the blanket and I put some of the toys back in my bag but do leave some out for the offenders to play with (I am not totally evil, and the kids saw toys and wanted them, that is understandable. Bad mom manners are not!)

But then the kid starts going through my bag again! So I say, "You know, I have a lot of stuff in there and would prefer they not do that." The mom says nothing but shoots me a dirty look. I shoot one back! Why am I the one feeling like an evil bitch here, when she is so obvioulsy in the wrong! Then the dad looks over and says, "That's not your bag wifey? I thought that was our bag?" You could tell he was actually a bit horrified that his wife was just letting the kids go through a STRANGER's bag. The wife is just looking at me like I am an evil non-sharer and why can't I just keep evil little Jimmy happy and let him dig through my bag. Argh. Thankfully practice ended then and I just swooped up the balnket toys and all and made my exit.

So now I am soccer mom/bitch who won't share her toys. Please tell me dear readers that I was in the right here. Because if one of my boys ever just plopped down on a stranger's blanket and started helping themselves to the contents of her bag, I would be horrified and apologizing and discipling and instructing them in proper manners. Not glaring at the other person like she was crazy.

Mommy relationships really aren't that different from those of our preschoolers are they?

Because I sure could use one for my useless degree.

As I walk around bemoaning my over abundance of education and under abundance of actual employable skills, my dear sweet 4 year old A offers some help....

Me: Ugh, I am just not qualified for any job!
A: Yes you are mom! You could clean. You are a good cleaner!
Me: Like other people's houses?
A: Yeah. You can clean! That's what you can do.
All of this said with such sweetness, such innocence, such happiness that he had solved my dilemma and could now go back to the big stuff of life, Rescue Heroes.

Because that is why I went to grad school. To clean other people's toilets. Perhaps I could wipe them with my diploma.

No, I'm not bitter.

Actually, just a little. Moreso because I see my baby brother making the same mistakes that I did - only worse. He is getting a Masters in History! Mine was in International Affairs - a good degree, unless you live in BFE South Florida. I feel like my degree was the ultimate in self-indulgence. I loved those classes, those topics, lectures, discussions. I should have indulged less and focused more on something practical. But if someone had told me back then that in 2006 I would be a SAHM in BFE Florida and loving it and looking for ways to prolong the experience, I would have laughed. That was so not for me. I was so very, very wrong.

Anyway, I will continue to look for some kind of gainful employment. For now, Mystery Shopper, Ebay seller and newsletter writer will have to suffice. I'll clean no one's toilets but my own dammit.

I'll be one of those eccentric ladies who get their PhD in their 50's and starts a brand new career. Or not. We'll see.

Dammit. Isn't it always the way, drop the money on the home pregnancy test, get a negative, and not 5 hours later - bam! The missing period shows up.

Serious waste of money, excpet that it did calm my fragile mental health state a bit this afternoon to see that big fat negative on the stick.

Pregnancy not so scary, pregnancy after having a bone scan last week, very very scary. Poor Mike, I was walking around all weekend bemoaning the fact that I could be pregnant and have radiated the baby. Damn late period! You should have come on Friday when you were supposed to! And of course dear sane husband of mine tried to remind me that it would be incredibly unlikely for my poor f'd up body to be punctual after everything it went through this summer. But of course, my neuorses were louder and all I could think of was nuclear babies. I am crazy. But not pregnant and crazy thank goodness.

So this week I scored a very nice if not basic 6 drawer wide birch dresser off of Craigslist for $100. I was very happy with this transaction as it would match the *free* bunkbeds that the in-laws bought the boys. (Free to us!) Their new room was on it's way for cheap! But still looking good!

But then today, we see our neighbors hauling a very nice 6 drawer wide dresser to the curb for trash day. We're not shy so we go on over. Yep, they are throwing it away. It needs some TLC, but it is solid wood from the 1930's, just solid and sturdy and great. And free! Free to us! So um, now I have two dressers in my family room and entry hall, one ready to go, one that needs painting and TLC. And the boys' room needs to be painted before either dresser will ever go into their new room. I love my $100 dresser, but I could have saved that money and just had the dumpster diving dresser! Drat! And now I have two dressers in my family room until who knows when! I feel like my house is always in flux and never ever approaching anything like "finished" - oh well!