Who I Am

Lisa - A SAHM with not enough time and too many things to do, take care of, love, enjoy, yell at and snuggle. At least that is how it feels on any given day.

Who I Give My Time To

M - my uber-supportive husband

A - my sensitive 4 year old son

O - my charming 2 year old son

Why I Blog

"I love people. I love my family, my children . . . but inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that's where you renew your springs that never dry up."
— Pearl S. Buck

My Life Right Now

"“If you are going through hell, keep going.”
— Winston Churchill

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Monday, July 25, 2005


Originally uploaded by laetoile.
Here it is


The mullet is gone, never to be seen again. Not ever. There is not even a shred of photographic evidence. And perhaps everything happens for a reason. Because I LOVE my short new sassy do. Much shorter than I wanted to go, but I think it works. I think it is very Lisa Rinna minus the lips. My dear husband told me I now remind him of Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail. Love that man.

While on vacation I decided that 2 children were enough for me. Various reasons, perhaps it was O crying nonstop for 40 minutes during the flight there. Perhaps it was A pooping on his pants while standing to pee in the airport bathroom. Perhaps it was many different things. See, I really thought I was over the daughter thing. But I'm not. Takes one bridal shower of sappy mom/daughter/sister/girl stuff and I'm a goner. And then my neighbor telling me she and her 10 year old daugther stayed up late together to watch a show on travelling in Italy. I need me some mom-daughter bonding. Still, I worry I am not even a good enough mom to the 2 children I already have.

Scarily, M seems willing to go along with whatever I decide. Too bad I am so indecisive. He also steam cleaned the carpets while I was gone. Despite the fact that the man calls me 100's of miles away to ask me where the remote is, he is still a keeper. Love him.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Small Joys

My baggage arrived. The carseat too. Yay!

A and I went to see Madagascar today while O stayed with my Mom. I need more alone time with my 3 year old. I feel he gets the shaft so much of the time b/c he is so self-sufficient and self-entertained while his brother demands so much of me still.

Fingers crossed, I'm going to Ithaca tomorrow. I lived there for 2 years and miss it more than anywhere else I have ever lived.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Naked Traveller

Well, I survived my solo flight with the boys today. A was pretty much a peach except for a minor flip out when the stewardess told him he had to put his tray up for landing, and then the singing at the top of his lungs as we took off on our second leg - "up, up and away we go! fee fi fiddly i-o"

O, on the other hand was a stinker. It was expected however so I was prepared and just put on my blinders and saw no one but my child as he tantrumed out his anger at my not allowing him to escape the 3 foot by 1 foot confines of our row. And of course he fell sound asleep as our plane was landing. Grr.

But the worst was yet to come. This is the 3rd time now I have stood at a luggage carousel with that ever growing sense of dread that not one bag of mine seems to be making an appearance. Not again! Usairways sucks. Philadelphia airport sucks - I had a 1 1/2 hour layover damnit - how could my luggage not schlep on over to the F terminal? I managed with my two kids, two carryons, stroller and 1 carseat. Yes, only 1 carseat for O. A sits like a big boy on the planes now. Yep, so along with those 2 lost checked suitcases (filled with some of my favorite outfits and shoes of course!) is a Britax Marathon.

Usairways handed me a carseat that was probably 10 years old and did not fit my 46 lb 3 year old. And that is the largest carseat they have - the don't have boosters. So, A road home from the airport in a seatbelt with my mom's arms wrapped around him. Argh. And of course our plans to go to Ithaca tmorrow are tabled b/c of no carseat, and of course lack of clean clothes and deoderant as well.

I've been through this before and managed to stay opimistic and the outcome was good. This time I have a very bad feeling I will never see those bags again. I hope I am wrong. But I am done with Usairways. Done. The thought of flying back home next Sunday makes me ill. Amtrak here I come.

Thursday, July 14, 2005


I have a mullet. I did not want a mullet. I did not ask for one. But yet, here I sit with mullet-head. I so not happy.

It's a feathery mullet. If I braid the remnants of my hair, it is very much like a rat-tail circa 1987.


I just wanted a few more layers and my hair thinned out. Well, I guess in some sense I did get what I asked for. But when I said Jennifer Aniston, she must have heard David Bowie.

Sadly, I am just going to wait this hairstyle faux pas out. Going back for a fix would result in more cutting, which I don't want. On the positive side it does look good if I pin the mullet in a french twist. Irony of irony, I went to get the damn haricut because I was sick of wearing my hair up all the time.

Tears may yet be shed.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Just One of Those Days

Drop case of Corona on tile floor. Beer everywhere. Running late for swim lessons. Crap. House smells like a frat.

A throws the fit of the world about getting in the pool today. Um, we were swimming last night no problem. Now, when the clock is ticking on our pricey private lesson, of course he has fit. Can not believe I am actually paying for my child to have fit. He finally calms down when his teacher engages him in conversation about ferral cats. I have a weird kid.

A swims and O and I are sitting on a chaise having a snack. I turn and somehow O crashes to the cement patio, head first. I did not know the sound of flesh and bone hitting concrete could be so awful. Seriously, it sounded like "splat". What is that literature term for a word that is its sound?

Hysterical baby who won't nurse, who won't be comforted, who is churning my stomach in fear. But he is conscious and not vomiting. Ugh, ugh ugh. M's office is down the street so I swing by for a quick consult. Blasted Ped's office is closed on Tuesday AM. Decide not a real emergancy so not paging the Ped. We're off to Urgent Care.

Monkey boy climbs and runs around the clinic so my worries are diffusing, but still the doc takes a skull x-ray, deciding against the cat-scan b/c he is so mobile, no loss of consciousness, etc. Have I mentioned the goose egg on his head? We are talking dinosaur egg here. Anyway, imagine having to hold a 28 pound 13 month old monkey child still for an x-ray while wearing a 10 lb lead apron. Yeah that was not fun.

Now we are home, vegging and chilling. O is climbing the barstools, the bedframe, you name it. The child is fearless and undeterred.

Please let tomorrow be better.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Feelin' the Love

You know you have a good friend when she reads your blog with all your whining and kvetching about your crazy 3 year old and she picks up the phone and calls just to make sure you actually are hanging in there.

Thank you Linnie and thank C for his concern too :)

A is still alive and still trying my patience, but my patience has grown just a little since tonight I watched him plummet head first over the side of the slide, land intitally on his face and then as the weight of his body pushed down, I saw his neck turn in a most grotesque angle. I have never felt so sick in my life. Miracle of miracles, after a few tears the child asked if we could play tee ball now. I think he'll live. However, my life has now been shortened by quite a few years.

These kids. I swear. They keep you hoppin'.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

One year ago

This little guy joined the Catholic faith. He was already working on the monk hairdo.

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Still Around

I am here, just being quiet since our return from CO last week. I have been playing turtle and hiding in my shell in real life as well. Just trying to get my house in some sort of order and the rest of my life as well. I am so over the edge with A right now I want to cry. He is such a good, sweet kid about 75% of the time. And the other 25% of the time I just want to throw him out the window, sell him to the gypsies, you get the picture. It's the whining and the huffing and the sense of entitlement and the brotherly abuse and the complete and total lack of listening or respect. I just can not take it.

Today was THE worst. THE worst. I can never, not ever, no I serioulsy mean never, show my face in a certain Florida Gymboree ever, ever again. Not ever. There was screeching, there was tantrum. It was so ugly. It just should not be this hard.

So besides that we are just treading water. I am hating my credit card bill right now due to said trip to CO and the purchase of a new digital camera. It's actually making me a bit nauseous. Buh-bye tax refund, meet mastercard your new owner.

And I am even poorer b/c on same said trip to CO we lost A's sandals. His brand new $40 Stride Rite teva type shoes. No, not the $3 flip flops or the year old bedraggled sneakers I was about to replace anyway. The brand new fly yellow super fun sandals. So I came home and ordered the same pair a size bigger from Talbots for $17 + shipping. I thought I was all that until I went to Dillards today and they had them for $14.99. Gah. So now A has them in yet another size up and O snagged a pair for himself as well. O is turning into a little Imelda. You merely say the word shoe and the kid flips out and runs to find them, then promptly sits and waits to be shoed. I love me some O.

Enough rambling. I am sad today was such a disaster with A. It was slightly salvaged by the fun fireworks t-shirts we made tonight and then a family round of t-ball. I guess you have to take the good with the bad.

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